Well I can said that my first time in a real roller coaster was past year,and I was so  scared. I went to Bush Gardens with my boyfriend, his dad, and his sister. I first when to Cheetah Hunt. When I first look at them I was amazed I though that was huge it goes all over the park. And when I was in the line they put you noises of cheetahs and then i saw this videos about how fast it goes and its makes an spin of 360 degrees around your heart. Which makes me more scared of and I had my boyfriend crazy. Not only, that before going to the roller coaster I ate a really delicious food, in a restaurant and I drink a lot of water so when I was in the line for the roller coaster I was wanting to pee. The time of duration of the roller coaster was 3:30 min and I wanted to pee I was freaking out, and I told my boyfriend: "Babe I'm going to pee in the ride''. He was so pissed with me and frustrated. Not only that the speed of the roller coaster was 60 mph so I was getting terrified. I just get in the roller coaster and when i got out I said: ''Yey, I didn't pee. I like it''. i think my boyfriend gets more mad at me at that moment, but was fun.


Frances Adorno
10/25/2013 3:20pm

Nice story, but you need to work on the verb tenses, and adding commas. Other than that, good work.

10/27/2013 1:44am

Need to check the grammar, the fluidity and use some commas. But it was a good story.

10/27/2013 10:19pm

It was a funny story, but due to the grammar mistakes (commas, subject/verb agreement) it was a bit hard to read. I really did like the story, though.

Selena Marie
10/27/2013 11:03pm

I liked your story, it was funny, simple and very entertaining. I like how you followed the instructions and added a bit of each of the senses into your post. I would have liked to know a bit more of how you felt during the ride in comparison to before and after but all in all very nice post I liked it a lot.

10/29/2013 6:05am

It was funny, thanks God you didn't pee, but you should look at the grammar to make it easier to read. you make it clear, and short. Descriptive.

I have this kind of love/hate relationship with roller coaster. I lost my phone in hulk at the New England, Six Flags :'(

10/29/2013 11:05pm

Funny story!. I've never been on a roller coaster but I imagine how crazy must be to ride one. :)

Jesse ^_^
10/30/2013 8:35pm

Very funny!!! Nice descriptions!


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