Hi,I liked you to focus in my grammar and gave me feedback My three favorite artists, a piece of work that I did for my Writting Skills class. Thank you.

 


Angel
09/20/2013 7:20pm

Some verbes tenses error.. like "Pages I visit". I think you meant "Pages I visited". And I also think that there's some long sentences, that you could try to make it clearer or make 2 sentences of them. Example: "The mood depends on the song sometimes it makes me think of the world and I feel bad about nature and what we are doing, sometimes it makes me think about my steps in the world, and how I don't know a lot of different things." You could use the colons ":" to introduce a list of things that you are going to mention. Also you could divide it by two different sentences.

Besides that, I think it is a well written article. It have a good structure and very informative. Congrats!

Reply
Frances
09/24/2013 11:58am

I think that you're piece is very organized, interesting, and we have similar taste in music. But I agree with Angel that you made a few mistakes with verb tenses, like for example: "She start her career at her 14 years old", it should say: She started her career at 14 years old. Other than that is a pretty good style of writing, and also is a very common error we all make.

Reply



Leave a Reply.